Every so often I’ll get a message that proves to be a challenge for Google Voice to translate properly. Incidentally, it seems to have this problem with the same people leaving a message. I thought I’d share the latest voice mail-to-text message, as I found it quite perplexing …

“Hey Dave It’s wrong that I hey Canada capacity as money and not And I need everything over into a folder called old email, and I want to gmail. Like mail the on Dot Com and i are tied on my own messages and I just needed all of You know my older contacts in Bernie my old emails women archives front about how it works or whatever, so I’m not sure I would think that maybe I would just check in with you again and it doesn’t look like it’s doing and I sent some test from my work email to my personal email so if you can. 8 call me just definitely yeah. So anyway, I’ll look forward to hearing from you get when you get a chance talk to you soon bye bye.”

I’m not exactly sure, but there seems to be some sort of problem with Canada’s capacity that I need to resolve. I’ll see what I can do to fix that.

_{This entry wants Dave to know that he can’t do that.}

It made me laugh. Lots.

_{This entry likes funny photos.}

Applicant:

From: [wannabe medical writer]
Subject: Fw: medical writer

> Hi
>
> Am a health care worker who is also a writer
>
> Have been writing for many years.
>
> Have a post grad degree in pharmacology (Phd)
>
> Have over 700 health related articles
>
Have attached two of my writing samples
>
> Reliable and punctual.
>
>
> [name removed]
>
> below are some medical sites that i have written for.
>
> [links to sites removed]

Her reply:

Dear [wannabe medical writer],

Your message below does not have any complete sentences nor correct punctuation which does not demonstrate to us that you have strong writing abilities.

Best of luck in your search.

Applicant:

u are a first class fool

punctuation, stick it up your arse

This applicant is also quite eloquent, it seems. Needless to say, he’s not going to be considered for the writing position.

_{This entry wants to stick some punctuation up its arse!}

_{This entry loves Star Trek mash-ups.}

Client: OK, so what am I looking for again?

Me: A network cable.

Client: Oh, OK. They’re the fat phone cord looking ones, right?

Me: Yes. The ends look like large phone cord connectors.

Client: All right … (sounds of her moving things around for about 30 seconds) .. Oh! Here’s one.

Me: Great, now let’s follow it to one end and see where it’s connected.

Client: This is a long sucker, must be almost a hundred feet.

Me: Are you sure it’s a network cable? It should be just like the ones we were connecting to the router, but longer.

Client: Yeah, this looks just like those.

Me: Good. Are you able to trace it back to where it’s connected?

Client: Yeah, I think so … it’s pretty tangled up, though.

Me: All right. When you find where it plugs in, unplug it and plug it back in until you hear or feel it click to make sure it’s connected properly.

Client: Ah! I think I found it *click*

Me: Hello?

Just another day in tech support.

_{This entry still can’t stop shaking its head.}

I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the parts.

_{This entry wants to go play with its Tonkas in the dirt!}

If you didn’t already notice, I made the one of them kissing a little warmer shade than the punching photo for added effect.

Right now, Rece and I are busy clearing out our bedrooms and patching holes in the wall in preparation of painting. My room is long overdue for a completely different color. I’ll be posting some before and after pictures. I’m so looking forward to something other than hot pink!

_{This entry hopes the room will be more masculine now.}

I keep Evil Lego in my camera bag. It was done so that if I ever happened to find a bad situation happening that I could take a picture of, I might be able to place Evil Lego in the foreground so that it might look as though he might have had something to do with it. So far it hasn’t happened, but I’ll be carrying him around with my camera from now on. Expect to see more of him from time to time.

_{This entry isn’t bad; it’s just drawn that way.}

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob6TTU1knUM]

_{This entry is craving chicken.}

It took a little time to sort through what’s left of Rece’s Lego collection and find enough pieces to set this up. Then I sucked a little ketchup (catsup?!) into a straw and blew it out, splattering it right where I wanted – and looking better (worse?!) than anticipated. Rece got home not too long after and inquired as to why his Legos were in the drying rack …

_{This entry doesn’t understand the point.}